


If You Need A Shoulder to Cry On

by AxlotlAtHeart



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships Mentioned, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bonding, Comfort, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Opening Up, Rated T for language, Texting, other stark family members mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 07:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20671352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxlotlAtHeart/pseuds/AxlotlAtHeart
Summary: Theon gets a (very) late night text from Sansa and has no idea what it could be about.





	If You Need A Shoulder to Cry On

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Tumblr's Theonsa week but didn't get it in on the right day. It was supposed to be day 3: family, if you care. Oh well, at least it's an excuse to write more Theonsa fic.  
Title is (kind of) by "any time at all" by the Beatles.

_Please come over_

_I know it’s late. I’m sorry. _

Theon had stared at the message for probably five minutes straight before it sank in properly. Annoyance mingled with confusion, disbelief, and a million _other feelings_, worry most of all. If it was him she was texting, it must be an emergency.

Why him? Sure, he’d given her his number, “only for emergencies,” but he hadn’t thought she’d actually ever _use _it. What emergency could be so bad that _he _was the contact that first came to mind?

Not to mention it was almost one in the morning. What the hell could she possibly need help with this late? Why was she even awake? Of course, he himself had been awake staring alternatingly at the ceiling and his phone for the past hour, but that was _him. _Why was Sansa – good girl, get-up-early-each-day-no-matter-what Sansa doing up this late?

Not that he wouldn’t do it. Of course he’d do it, whatever it was. But the whole damn situation _confused _him.

“Shit,” he muttered out loud. If something was wrong, really wrong with her…

Where were his keys? She didn’t live that far away, it wouldn’t take him very long to drive over. But how bad was it, whatever it was? Wouldn’t it be better just to sit here talking with her until he figured it out? Or better, just let one of her abundance of family members know and deal with it themselves…

His thumb hovered over Robb’s contact number…should he wake his best friend out of what was probably a peaceful sleep to tell him “something” was wrong with his little sister, freaking him out and possibly betraying her trust all in one?

Maybe he was losing it, but he clicked back on Sansa’s contact instead.

_No worries_

_I’ll be right there_

Usually driving calmed Theon down, but this time he was all nerves. He kept glancing anxiously at his phone on the opposite seat, as bad of an idea as that was, to see if any new messages popped up. Nothing did. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

What the hell had happened to make Sansa ask for his help like that? Anything to make her send out a plaintive text in the middle of the night couldn’t be good, but why him of all people? Maybe she couldn’t get in touch with her family? What about her parents? Or Arya? That was impossible, even if Arya was out with her boyfriend there was no way she wouldn’t be able to reach her. That girl was glued to her phone way more than was healthy.

Or maybe…maybe it was something she was too ashamed or embarrassed to tell her real family. A sick, icy sort of feeling made its way into Theon’s stomach. How did she expect him to handle something like _that? _What was he about to get himself into?

Or…shit. It didn’t have anything to do with _him, _did it? “Him” meaning Ramsay Bolton, the shittiest of all of Sansa’s shitty boyfriends so far, and the only person Theon knew who made him violently angry just on sight. Three months they’d been together and from what he’d heard from Robb, the whole family was trying to get her to leave him. But she wouldn’t. She’d acknowledged he was awful, so that was at least a start, but for some insane reason she refused to break up with him. Theon had only met the man once, and he’d been creeped out enough. He wasn’t exactly privy to the gory details of their relationship, but just the thought of Sansa with a guy like that set his teeth on edge.

If this had anything to do with _that _situation, well, he’d gladly find the man and punch his teeth in, but he wasn’t sure that was what she was looking for tonight.

It didn’t take long for him to reach the street home to the Stark Family Abode. By this time Theon had made himself much more nervous than he’d been before. A hundred new possibilities had come to him on the drive over; she was dying, Arya was dying, _she’d _killed someone, she and Arya had killed someone together (not that that was so unlikely), she’d burnt the house down, there was a rabid squirrel in the attic, the mafia was after her...why had she been so bloody vague? Didn’t she know this meant he was going to fret constantly until he got to her? It was bad enough to make him leave the house past midnight, but not giving him the reason? That was just evil.

He was overthinking again. _Don’t overthink, _wasn’t that what Brienne always told him? Well, it wasn’t easy. Especially when Sansa was involved. Maybe she wasn’t his sister, not really, but hell, she was still _Sansa. _

Breathe. Deep breaths. It was probably nothing. Nothing to get this uptight about. She just needed a favor, that was all. Nevertheless, when he got to the house (which thankfully was still standing) he practically sprinted out of the driver’s seat and up the front steps.

After several seconds of knocking rapidly on the door, (hadn’t Robb given him a key at some point? He must have forgotten it,) he heard the lock click and it opened a crack.

A round face appeared a few inches above him, pretty but rather red-eyed at the moment, and framed with long auburn hair. Okay, so she was alive at least. Some of the tension leached out of his shoulders.

“Oh, you came,” she sniffed, “you didn’t have to, I’m really sorry…”

“It’s okay.” He felt very awkward standing there, half in her doorway in the middle of the night. What the hell was he _doing _out here?

“No, no it’s not, I’m being stupid…” she shook her head, looking on the verge of tears. Theon had the sudden impulse to wrap his arms around her. God, what had happened? “You can come in, it’s a bit of a mess though.”

He followed her inside, still wondering what this could all be about. Nothing seemed to be overtly wrong, with the house at least, just the same large, open spaces filled with the usual clutter that came from six people living there together. And Sansa only seemed mildly upset, if anything. Why had she wanted him to come over?

She’d made her way into the living room, and sat curled up on one of the two couches. Theon hesitated, then thought _fuck it, _and sat down next to her.

She gave a weak smile, but turned away quickly. At a loss for words, Theon said the first thing that came to his mind seeing the house so curiously empty.

“Where are your parents?”

Sansa rubbed her nose. “Away for the weekend. They said they needed just a couple days together…a romantic getaway, I guess.”

“Well, they’d deserve it after spending the rest of their time looking after you lot.”

It was a weak joke, but Sansa gave a soft laugh. Good, okay, if he could make her laugh he was off to a good start, wasn’t he?

“And what about…everyone else?”

“Arya’s still on that school overnight trip, and Bran and Rickon are spending the night with the Reeds.”

“So you’re just here on your own?”

She sniffed again. “Well. Not anymore.”

“Do you…do you want to tell me why you wanted me over here?”

Sansa shifted uncomfortably on the couch, hugging herself tightly. Her voice trembled, she spoke very fast. “Oh, it’s hard to explain. I just got…I’m usually okay being here by myself, but tonight I just felt _wrong. _It was – it was like the walls were all closing in on me, I couldn’t sleep, I thought that…I just kept thinking something awful might happen, and I’d be here all alone…” Her breath hitched, and she clapped a hand to her mouth, new tears spilling over the brims of her eyes.

Alarmed, Theon put a hand on her shoulder. “Woah, woah, woah…everything’s fine. Just look at me, nothing’s going to happen to you.”

She sniffed, blue eyes shooting back up to him. “I know. I know, I’m just being stupid…”

Shit, he was no good at this. Brienne was the real therapist, he had no idea how to talk to people about their _problems. _He kept a hand on her shoulder, hoping that was okay.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You’re fine. Just – just calm down.” No. Bad. Definitely the wrong thing to say.

She didn’t seem to notice, however. “I’m really, really sorry about texting you so late. It’s stupid, I know it’s stupid…I’m…I’m feeling a bit better now, anyway. I should have just dealt with it myself…”

“No – hey,” Theon scooted closer to her, “I get it. You’re alone, it gets…well, lonely. And you seem like you’re…upset about something. I just don’t know why it was me you asked. What about your brothers?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to disturb them. Robb’s probably asleep and Jon has his finals, he’s probably studying if he is awake. I just…didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“But you were fine bothering me?”

He’d meant it as a joke, but regretted it immediately when she hung her head, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I really am, I just…I couldn’t think of anyone else.”

_So I’m just a last resort? _Well, it was better than not being on her ‘people to call in an emergency’ list at all. Still, his thoughts nagged a refrain of _why me? _She was Sansa fucking Stark, and he was what, her brother’s friend? Who she’d hardly seen except at family gatherings for the past year? Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent alone in a room with _just _Sansa.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“Nah, of course not. Have you ever known me to go to bed earlier than three in the morning?”

This got another weak smile from her. “Okay…as long as you’re sure…you can leave whenever you want to…”

Now that he knew she wasn’t in any immediate danger, part of him did want very much to head straight back home and flop into bed. But he’d never sleep now, knowing she was alone and distressed for whatever reason. Not to mention Robb would lose his mind if he found out.

“I won’t leave until you want me to,” he said, “I can hang out until whenever, it doesn’t matter. Promise.”

“Okay. Okay. Thank you.”

He shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”

There was a long, awkward silence. Was _he _supposed to say something? All he could concentrate on at the moment was how loud the Starks’ central heating was; had it always been that way and he’d just never noticed under the usual clamour of six-to-eight different people’s voices?

Sansa took a deep breath beside him. “It’s just…it’s been _tough. _I’ve felt really….really alone. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“I’m sorry.” There wasn’t really anything else to say.

“And I-“ she took a deep breath, eyes flickering nervously to him, “I’m breaking up with him. I have to.”

Oh. _Oh. _

“Oh shit…are you sure?” _Are you sure, _what a stupid question, of course she was sure. But did that mean-

He really didn’t want to know, but had to ask. If that man had laid a single hand on her…

“He didn’t…did he – do something?”

Sansa sighed. “Recently? Nothing specific. But I’m just…it’s time. I made my choice.” Her eyes were wide, unsure. “And I’m scared.”

“Scared? What are you scared about? You’re doing the right thing, you’ll be…a lot happier this way.” Dammit, he really wasn’t good at this kind of thing.

“But what if I’m not? What if it wasn’t him, what if it was _me_, if _I _was the bad one…”

Theon took her by the shoulders, (was that too much?) and looked her square in the eye. “Sansa, don’t do that. Really, don’t. He was a shithead, and _absolute shithead. _And you know it’s true, because you’ve called _me _a shithead before, so if I can tell he’s worse than me he’s got to be pretty bad, right?”

This got another very small smile from her, which he took as a good thing.

“He was. He is. And I’m glad you’re doing it…you deserve more than that.”

Her smile turned into a shaky laugh, but at the same time new tears blossomed in her eyes. “Thank you. I – I wasn’t sure…there were times when I wasn’t sure if I did.”

“You do,” he said firmly, “trust me. You do.”

She relaxed a little, untangling her arms from each other. Theon realized he still had his hands on her shoulders, and awkwardly dropped them. Once they were gone, though, she ran her hands over the sides of her arms as if to warm herself up. Maybe they should have stayed.

“It’s just that…I was thinking about it tonight. And I’ve been thinking about it a while, but tonight was the first time I really…_really _thought about it. That I’m going to have to do it. And it was like…all these thoughts, all these things started collapsing around me…I just needed _someone…”_

She shivered. In a second her eyes were back on him again. “What will he do when I tell him?”

“Nothing. Not if I can help it.” When she looked highly unconvinced, he followed his impulse and took her hand gently. “Sansa, you’ve got me. And you’ve got your brothers, and your sister. Do you really think Arya would let anything happen to you? If he lays so much as a finger on you she’d never let him see the light of day again.”

Another watery smile. So he was getting somewhere.

“Do any of them…know?”

She shook her head. “Not yet. I’ve thought about it for a while…but I’m not sure how to tell them. They’re all lovely people, but they…they do have a bit of a tendency to _get in the way.”_

Theon couldn’t help smiling. That they did.

“And I don’t think…I don’t think any of them really know how bad it’s been.”

He certainly didn’t want to know. If she wanted to tell him, fine, but he wasn’t about to ask.

She took a shuddering breath. “And I just kept thinking…if I leave him, then he won’t just be awful, he’ll have a _reason _to be awful. He’s just…a bully. A horrible, horrible bully, and I feel like I’m the kid who just told their parents about it all even after he promised to make their life miserable if they did.”

Bullies. He’d had his own fair share of them. “This is different. You need to leave. I know it’s…not easy. But you have your family behind you – you’ve got me behind you – and we’ll all make sure you get through it just fine. You trust us enough for that?”

“Of course I do.”

A thought occurred to him. “Do you…do you want me to come with you? Just to be there, when you do it? I mean, would that help?”

“It would,” she said in a small voice, “if…if you’d be okay doing that. Thank you, thank you so much…you don’t _have _to, but it…if you were okay with it…”

“Of course. If it’ll make it any easier.”

Sansa looked back up at him with her watery eyes. Before he knew it she had thrown her arms around his neck and sat there clinging to him.

That was…_different. _

“Hey,” he said after a minute, gently prying her arms away from him. _God _he was bad at this stuff. “You’re going to be okay. I mean it. I know it. And if I can help, I will. Promise.”

She wiped her eyes, sniffing. “I know you will. Thank you. And I’m sorry, I’m such a mess…I know this is ridiculous…”

“It’s not. Really it’s not. And hey, if you ever need me again…now you know I’m just a call away.”

She let out a shaky laugh. “You always were. I just never took advantage of it.”

“Well, now you have.”

They sat in silence for a while, a silence which grew steadily less awkward and more comfortable. The distractingly loud heating had switched off for the time being, and Theon saw Sansa shiver slightly.

“You cold?”

She shrugged. “A little, I guess.”

He got up and grabbed the throw blanket that lay draped over the back of an armchair, coming back to wrap it around her shoulders. She wrapped herself tightly in it.

“I have to ask, though…why me? I know you couldn’t reach your family, I get that, but why was I the next option? What about any one of your million friends, miss popular?”

She rolled her eyes, looking for a second closer to her usual self. “I don’t have a _million. _And, well, you’re different.”

Different. A warm, prickly feeling came into his chest, and he wasn’t sure where it came from but suddenly she was weirdly difficult to look at.

“I…what’s different about me?”

Was it just him, or did she turn slightly pink? “Well. You just are, I don’t know how to explain it. I feel…I don’t know, I feel different talking to you about things than I do talking with my friends. Or with my brothers. You’re just…different.”

Theon settled a little closer to her on the couch, the prickly feeling intensifying. His head was buzzing with a million different thoughts, all of them disturbing in one way or another. It would probably be best for him to say something, but he had no idea what he could say that would be _right. _So he did the next best thing: kept quiet and let her keep talking.

To his relief, she _did _keep talking. “It’s just that…I feel like you won’t judge me, if I tell you things. The others…even if they don’t say it out loud, I feel like they are. That they expect me to be better, to be more _put together. _But you don’t. At least, I think you don’t.”

Theon couldn’t help but laugh at that. Seriously? She’d been afraid he’d _judge _her?

“Of course I don’t. Sansa, you realize I’m probably the least put together person you know, right?”

Her eyes crinkled at the corners. “What do you mean by that?”

Where to start? “Well, I don’t know…I’m just a mess. I’m surprised you can’t see it. I – I beat myself up for little things all the time, I say things I don’t mean and then go over them again and again afterwards…” He shook his head. “There’s just…a lot. There’s a lot going on that I try not to let anyone see.”

“I guess we’re not too different in that way.”

The details of all that was “going on” sat just beyond his mouth, threatening to jump out. No, she didn’t need to hear all that.

Then again, if this was “open up about your personal issues” time, why not take a shot at it himself?

Fuck it.

“I wasn’t really…okay, when you called me, I wasn’t sleeping. I don’t think I’ve slept through the night in months. Most of the time I just lie there staring at the wall for hours before I can fall asleep. I just…I get so many thoughts, all running around my head, and none of them are very nice.”

Now that it was out, he thought it best to just get everything else out in the open too. With it came a new idea.

“So…I don’t know if you’d want to do this, but if you ever wanted to talk to someone who actually knows what they’re doing, I know someone.”

Sansa’s eyes crinkled. “Who?”

“This lady named Brienne. She’s great, really. She’s a therapist. If you want, I can give you her contacts and you can…see how she works for you.”

Her face was still. Theon desperately hoped she wasn’t offended. When she spoke, though, it wasn’t either to agree or to yell at him.

“You go to therapy?”

_Here it goes. _“Yeah. I do, yeah. I…I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve got a panic disorder. I’ve had it for a while. It’s getting better than it was, I’m seeing Brienne, and I took meds for a while, and it’s getting a little easier. A little.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “I just don’t talk about it much. Robb knows, and my sister, but I don’t think anyone else does.”

Sansa looked down at her hands. “I wish you’d told me that earlier. I could have – maybe I could have helped…”

“You don’t need to do anything. I just…” Oh no, now he’d made her feel guilty. What was he doing, turning her away from her own problems just to talk about his own? “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“No! No, don’t be. I’m glad you did. I’m glad I know.”

Well, it was all out in the open now. He trusted her though, trusted that she wouldn’t say a word to anyone else.

“Theon,” she said quietly, still not looking at him. “I know you’re probably tired, you’ll want to go home…”

“I can stay as long as you need. I mean it.”

She gave him a look so full of hope that he wouldn’t have been able to deny her, even if he’d wanted to.

“So could you…could you stay with me, just a little longer? I just – I don’t know if I want to talk anymore, but I really just…need somebody.”

Maybe he needed somebody too. “Of course. Um…do you want tea, or anything? Hot chocolate? I can make us both some, if you want.”

She gave a shaky smile. “No, that’s okay. Thank you, though. Really, thank you for everything…”

“It’s no problem. Really.”

She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, watching him out of the corner of her eye. Then, to his surprise, she shuffled closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. He stiffened automatically at first, but after a moment reached over to put one arm around her. It had been ages since she’d been this close to him, even just hugging her wasn’t something he’d done in a long time. And now she was _snuggled _next to him, eyes shut, almost burrowing into his shoulder.

So, okay, this was happening now.

“Theon,” he heard her whisper, “you’re a good friend. A really, really good one, you know that, don’t you? Not just to Robb, to me too.”

“Well,” his mouth was very dry all of a sudden, “I suppose I’m okay.”

“You’re more than that. You’re like family – you _are _family. Even if you don’t live with us, even if we don’t see you that often…you’re one of us. Whatever that means to you, it doesn’t matter, in some way you’re one of us. I hope you see that.”

Shit. _Shit. _He wasn’t going to cry, not now, not with her. But her words had opened something up in him, something that made a fierce heat rise up in his throat and close it tight.

“I-” he swallowed with difficulty, “thanks, Sansa.”

“You, too.” She mumbled into his shirt.

They sat like that for a while – Theon lost track of how long – him keeping as still as he could so to not disturb her. At some point he realized how heavy she felt against him, and looked over to see she had fallen asleep. Well, good for her. If only he could ignore the fact that she was sleeping practically on top of him, that he could feel every breath in her chest…

Eventually he fell asleep too. When he woke up she was still there, curled in exactly the same position. The arm that was wrapped around her had gone numb, but he couldn’t bring himself to move it. Somewhere in the house, the clock was still ticking its steady rhythm, counting away the last minutes of the night. He had no idea what time it was now.

Sansa shuffled in her sleep, thankfully giving his poor arm a bit of room. He could leave, either wake her up or just leave a note behind…

But no, he never would. He’d promised her, hadn’t he? And after all, this family stuck together. If – and he felt a twinge in his heart to think of it – he was really _one of them, _well, it was required of him then, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t leave unless she asked him too.

He managed to drift off again, the thoughts in his head for once kind enough that he could.


End file.
